If visiting family at Thanksgiving isn’t giving you enough of the quality time you need with them, I highly recommend packing nine of them (be sure to include some kids!) into an RV and taking off on an 18-hour trip to Oklahoma.
We did, and it was relaxing, fun and, hey, wait, why is the side of the RV jutting out 18-inches into the other lane of the interstate!
Where else will you get questions like these from your family in an environment from which you cannot escape?
“So, Mike, why aren’t you dating anyone?”
--- PHOTOS: A VERY CAZALAS THANKSGIVING»»
“Did we just hit that truck?
“You can use the toilet, but be sure to brace yourself. Can you handle that?”
“How come Mike doesn’t have to drive any? Oh, never mind.”
My “Poppa,” the man who raised me, and his wife “Mimi” rented an RV five years ago for the exact same trip to visit my aunt and grandmother with the exact same crew: Poppa and Mimi, myself and my son, my sister and husband and their three children.
All we remembered was fun!
My first Tweet of the day, right around 4 a.m., told a different story: “1 RV. 884 miles to Haskell, Okla., 5 adults, 4 kids. 4 am Central. Personal bus to Hades prepared to launch.”
The truth of it is we had a great time, thanks to a couple of key factors: I was not allowed to drive, even for a minute, and we loaded the kids up with electronic devices and brought along plenty of movies. The RV was pretty self contained, with beds and a fridge and stove and restroom.
The trip was long, but with two exceptions relatively danger-free. A parked truck jumped out in front of Poppa as we pulled into a rest stop at one point, but my brother-in-law managed to buff out any signs of damage. And the side of the RV, the part that pops out to make room for another bed when anchored, kept slipping out into traffic an inch at a time, so that was interesting.
--- PHOTOS: A VERY CAZALAS THANKSGIVING»»
But when we reached Haskell, Okla., we had a blast.
My grandmother is 90 and recovering from a stroke, but I wouldn’t have known it by interacting with her. She’s sharp and witty and opinionated as ever, all for my own good like the best grandmothers do.
My Aunt Leanne and husband Stan welcomed us with open arms and food cabinets, and within a day there were 20 or so family members hanging out.
Food was everywhere, meals planned well in advance. Leanne and Stan have a small ranching operation with some cattle and horses, so there was fresh beef and horses to ride.
Over four days we ate turkey, beef, barbecue, pizza, chicken, Italian, Mexican, eggs, biscuits, bacon, sausage and more. Then we’d prepare for lunch.
There were 4-wheelers for everyone, and I was allowed to drive those right up until I rolled mine performing a maneuver the pros call “doing a doughnut.” The police call it a “wreck.”
Poppa has a little collection of pistols and everyone in Oklahoma is armed, so all the kids took firearm instructions from Poppa and shot pistols and rifles.
And I learned a new game: Stump. It involves, as you might guess, a stump, a hammer, nails and (optional) alcohol.
Everyone has a nail and has to get it started into the stump enough that it is standing firm. Then you take turns with the hammer. You have to flip it and catch it, then you get one whack at someone else’s nail. When your nail head is driven cleanly into the stump, you are out.
This is more complicated than it sounds, and way more fun than it sounds.
--- PHOTOS: A VERY CAZALAS THANKSGIVING»»
As we prepared to leave, my cousin Scott presented me with a trophy, and a serious task.
“This is for you,” he said as he handed me a shiny, unmolested nail. “Take it to Panama City, and take the game of Stump with you. See that it spreads. This is being given to you by a wise man, a Stump master, and that is your task.”
And that is what family and Thanksgiving is about: togetherness and tradition, no matter how silly it might seem to others.